Stargate Atlantis – Episode 104 “38 Minutes”

Transcript by Celsitude

SCENE: Opens over wraith planet, inside the puddle jumper. Two unknown characters are piloting the ship, while Ford is standing behind them.

FORD: How we doing?

MARKHAM: I think I’ve got it lined up pretty close.

FORD: No such thing as close. You thread the needle or we’re dead.

MARKHAM: All right.

FORD: Ok, you can do it. Nice and easy. *turns to speak to McKay* Ok. I think we’re close enough to dial the gate.

MCKAY: Yes! Yes! Just hurry up and get us back.

*Stackhouse presses the dialing pad, we see the puddle jumper headed to the gate in the distance. Back inside the ship, Sheppard has a large black insect wrapped around his throat.*

SHEPPARD: Get this damn thing off me!

TEYLA: We can’t.

SHEPPARD: *looks at McKay* Cut it off.

MCKAY: As soon as we establish a connection, radio back that we’ve got a medical emergency.

TEYLA: There must be something we can do for him.

MCKAY: There’s an emergency first aid kit behind the pilot’s seat, get it.

*Teyla runs to the front of the ship and gets the kit*

MCKAY: Major, everything we can try to remove it just makes the pain worse. Now try to be still.

*Teyla moves between the pilots*

TEYLA: Is there no way to go faster?

STACKHOUSE: He’s just trying to get us back in one piece.

*we see the puddle jumper moving closer to the gate, the two engines begin to retract into the ship, but not entirely*

FORD: Atlantis base, this is Ford. Jumper One is inbound with a medical emergency. Please respond.

SCENE: Inside Atlantis gateroom. Weir walks into control room.

WEIR: What’s going on?

TECHNICIAN: The reconnaissance team is reporting a medical emergency. I’ve alerted Dr. Beckett. He’s on his way.

WEIR: Put on Major Sheppard.

TECHNICIAN: He’s the one who’s injured.

*Weir looks up with concern*

SCENE: Inside the puddle jumper. McKay and Teyla are sitting on either side of Sheppard. McKay is going through the first aid kit.

MCKAY: What am I expecting to find in here that’s going to get rid of that thing?

TEYLA: Something for the pain.

MCKAY: I don’t think Tylenol’s going to do it. He needs a doctor! How much longer?

FORD: Almost there. *into mic* Flight, Jumper One on final approach.

SCENE: The scene goes from Ford in the jumper to Weir in the control room.

WEIR: This is Weir. What’s the nature of Major Sheppard’s injury?

FORD: Some sort of funky alien bug attached itself to his neck. He’s completely immobile.

WEIR: *looks concerned* What’s it doing to him?

FORD: *through speaker* We don’t know, but we can’t get it off him and we tried everything.

WEIR: You understand the risk of bringing something like that back to Atlantis?

FORD: Yes, Ma’am, I do, but we really don’t have a choice in the matter.

WEIR: Understood Lieutenant. Good Luck. *to soldier* Quarantine the jumper bay.

SCENE: In the jumper, Teyla is using strips of gauze to wipe off Sheppard. The jumper is approaching the gate.

FORD: *pats Markham’s shoulder* It’s all automatic from here. *to McKay* Here we go!

*The jumper begins to move through the gate, but the right engine scrapes against the inner ring. The crew is thrown around inside, the lights go out and they are stuck halfway through the active gate.*


SCENE: Gateroom. Sirens blaring and Weir is waiting for the arrival of the jumper.

WEIR: Where are they?

TECHNICIAN: I don’t know, the gate’s still active. All indications read they should be through by now.

*Weir stands at the balcony with her arms crossed, a worried look on her face*

SCENE: The gate is literally stuck halfway through the gate. The back end of the jumper is sticking out of the gate while the front portion has already gone through. Inside the jumper, the crew is just waking up. McKay looks up and sees the event horizon within the jumper.

MCKAY: Oh no.

TEYLA: What happened?

MCKAY: The drive pod. The wing things that stick out while we’re flying must’ve failed to retract. That’s the only thing it could be. It’s that, or the Stargate shrank, which I highly doubt. This is a – a big problem.

TEYLA: What can we do?

MCKAY: I don’t know that there is anything we can do. I mean, this is a very, very big problem.

*McKay looks and sees an arm sticking out of the event horizon*

MCKAY: Give me a hand.

*McKay and Teyla pull on the arm and yank Lt. Ford out of the event horizon*

FORD: What the hell was that? *sees event horizon* That’s strange.

MCKAY: Yes, it is.

FORD: That is the…

MCKAY: Yes, it is.

FORD: That scraping sound…we’re stuck.

MCKAY: Yes, we are. Apparently the engine pods failed to retract in time. It’s a square peg, round hole.

FORD: Can we pull Markham and Stackhouse out?

MCKAY: Our hands and arms would dematerialize as soon as we crossed the event horizon. There’s no way to reach for them.

*Teyla looks around and remembers Major Sheppard. She goes to him. Ford follows*

FORD: The Major?

TEYLA: He must have been knocked unconscious by the impact.

WEIR: *through the speaker* Jumper one, this is Weir, what’s your status?

SCENE: Changes from jumper to the control room.

FORD: This is Ford, it’s good to hear your voice. The four of us are still here but, Markham and Stackhouse are inside the event horizon.

WEIR: Say again?

FORD: Ma’am, Jumper one is lodged in the Stargate. Teyla, Dr. McKay and myself are in the rear compartment with the major. He’s in bad shape. Markham and Stackhouse are in the forward section.

*While Ford is speaking to Weir, McKay is moving his hands as though telling them to hurry it up.*

WEIR: How did that happen?

MCKAY: Engine pods…

FORD: We think it was one of the engine pods. But there’s no way to be sure.

MCKAY: It’s the only viable possibility.

WEIR: If I understand you correctly, you won’t be able to access the flight controls.

MCKAY: Yes, Elizabeth. It’s an extremely intriguing conundrum and one that I’d love to discuss with you in detail until this Stargate shuts down and this ship is cut in two…

WEIR: *Interrupting* Rodney, calm down

MCKAY: *still going* At which point of course…

WEIR: *Interrupting and louder* Rodney! If I’m going to be any help to you at all, I need to catch up. Lieutenant Ford, back it up for me.

*McKay looks frustrated. We pan down to Major Sheppard and Teyla, who is holding a compress to his forehead.*

FORD: We couldn’t I.D. the wraith base of operations from space, like we did the last time we were there…so we went to the same landing coordinates as before to get a closer look.


SCENE: The jumper is flying over the planet. Sheppard, Teyla, McKay and Ford have landed on the planet. Sheppard is looking through a pair of binoculars at a large crater.

SHEPPARD: It’s gone.

MCKAY: What? I thought you said it was in a mountainside.

TEYLA: It was. We were inside it.

SHEPPARD: Let’s move.

*they start walking towards the crater’s edge. It’s a huge hole.*

SHEPPARD: This was the spot.

MCKAY: It’s more of a hole than a mountain, really.

TEYLA: Could it have been destroyed?

FORD: This is definitely not a blast crater.

SHEPPARD: No, looks like they just picked up and left. So, ship?

FORD: I don’t know, sir. That mountainside was covered with trees.

SHEPPARD: Yeah, but the wraith hibernate for centuries right? So a lot of trees could have overgrown in that time.

TEYLA: Then we were held prisoner inside one of the great ships I showed you in the drawings. They’ve left to begin culling worlds.

*McKay looks up at the sound of twigs snapping and sees movement in the trees. It’s wraith soldiers*

MCKAY: There’s movement down there!

*They all turn and see the wraith. The wraith begin firing their weapons at the 4. They duck and run*


*They run*


SCENE: The puddle jumper

MCKAY: She hardly meant begin at the beginning.

FORD: This is intel she needs to know.

MCKAY: and we have less than 38 minutes.

WEIR: *looks up in surprise* Hold on! Why 38 minutes?

MCKAY: Because that’s the maximum amount of time a Stargate can remain open in non-relativistic conditions. It’s one of the more immutable laws of wormhole physics and oh my, look at the time. It’s now more like 35 minutes. Are we all caught up?

WEIR: I get it. What do you need?

MCKAY: Help.

WEIR: *through speaker* All right. *at atlantis* Let me put Kavanaugh, Grodin and Simpson in a room. See what they come up with.

MCKAY: *through speaker* That’s good. *in jumper* And the Czech, the Czech, the Czech whose name I can never remember.

WEIR: Dr. Zelenka?

MCKAY: That’s it. We’ll work it at our end.

WEIR: What else?

MCKAY: We’ll call you. Thank you. *ends transmission*

SCENE: Atlantis control room. Beckett enters.

BECKETT: Where’s my patient?

WEIR: There’s been a problem. Conference room.


WEIR: *to tech* Keep a channel open with them at all times. And turn that damn alarm off.

SCENE: Jumper. The bug on Sheppard’s neck is expanding like a leech. Sheppard begins to wake up. Teyla is going through the first aid kit.

SHEPPARD: Hi, Teyla.

*Teyla gets up and comes to sit at his side*

SHEPPARD: Are you all right?

TEYLA: I’m fine.

SHEPPARD: Something tells me we haven’t made it to Atlantis yet.


*Sheppard looks disappointed, then looks up and sees the event horizon*


*Ford moves to sit next to Sheppard*

SHEPPARD: What is that?

FORD: We’re stuck, sir.


FORD: In the gate.

SHEPPARD: You mean my day just got worse?

MCKAY: We’re going with the assumption that it was one or both of the drive pods. I don’t know whether it was mechanical failure or ….

FORD: or it was damaged as we tried to take off.


SCENE: Back on the planet, 3 wraiths fire on the jumper as it’s taking off. Inside, the crew is being tossed about.

SHEPPARD: We’re taking fire. Let’s get some altitude!

MARKHAM: I’m trying, sir!


SCENE: Inside jumper

MCKAY: There’s no way of knowing, really, but ah, if you know of some way of manually retracting the mechanism…

SHEPPARD: Cockpit, on the left.

MCKAY: The cockpit is regrettably demolecularized at the moment. But how about somewhere back here?

SHEPPARD: *sadly* No.

MCKAY: No. I didn’t think so. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be a foot and a half over there, taking some readings, feel free to talk amongst yourselves.

SCENE: Inside Atlantis. Scientists are all working at tables trying to come up with a solution.

WEIR: All Right, you’ve all been briefed. We have less than half an hour. Where’s Dr. Zelenka?

KAVANAGH: He’s working up a simulation in Puddle Jumper Two – He went straight there.

WEIR: That’s good.

KAVANAGH: If there was time, it would be.

WEIR: Let’s not admit defeat just yet, Doctor. There are six people on that ship.

*Kavanagh looks annoyed*

BECKETT: I’m just the medical doctor here, so forgive me if this is a stupid question. If they just stepped through the event horizon, wouldn’t they come through the front part of the ship when the gate shuts down?

KAVANAGH: The front half won’t rematerialize on this side.

GRODIN: The Stargate transmits matter in discrete units. The front half of the ship cannot re-materialize until the whole ship has crossed into the event horizon. The Stargate is essentially waiting for the contiguous components, meaning the jumper and everyone inside, to enter completely before it can transport them.

WEIR: He says the gate only sends things through in one piece.

BECKETT: Right, Sorry.

GRODIN: Unfortunately, the outgoing Stargate won’t transmit the matter stream until the demolecularization is complete. When it shuts down, the entire forward section, along with the men inside, will cease to exist.

WEIR: And what about the others?

GRODIN: The ship will be severed instantaneously along the event horizon. They’ll be exposed to hard vacuum, in 29 minutes.

SIMPSON: What if they closed the bulkhead door?

WEIR: The rear portion of the ship would remain pressurized, become a sort of lifeboat.

GRODIN: It will leak atmosphere like a sieve.

SIMPSON: But it could buy enough time to send a second jumper.

KAVANAGH: And do what?

WEIR: Figure it out. Contact jumper one and make the recommendation.

SCENE: Inside the jumper. McKay is pushing buttons on his computer. He gets up and pushes something beside the doors and closes the bulkhead door. Everything goes dark.

MCKAY: Sorry, here. *raises a light*

*Through the speaker*

GRODIN: Jumper one, this is Atlantis.

MCKAY: Still here.

GRODIN: We recommend closing the bulkhead door.

MCKAY: Oh, good thinking. *looks irritated* What else?

GRODIN: We’re still working on the problem. We’ll get back to you. Atlantis base out.

MCKAY: Thanks for calling! Anyone else claustrophobic or is it just me?

FORD: Why’d you close the door?

MCKAY: So that when the Stargate shuts down and the forward section is severed, we’re not directly exposed to space.

FORD: Will it hold?

MCKAY: Like a screen door on a submarine, I just prefer apoxia to explosive decompression. It’s a personal thing.

FORD: if the air is gonna get thin in here, you really do have to calm down.

MCKAY: Wait till you see how thin it gets in 27 minutes…


MCKAY: Vacuum. That’s thin.

SHEPPARD: Knock it off.

MCKAY: Well, I apologize for being the only person who truly comprehends how screwed we are!

SHEPPARD: Don’t talk to me about screwed.

*McKay gets quiet, looks at Teyla and Ford. They hear a scraping sound*

SHEPPARD: And let’s not give up on Markham and Stackhouse either. There’s plenty of time to solve this thing. But you’ve got to stop using your mouth and start using your brain.

MCKAY: *looks apologetic* I’m sorry, Major. I’m…I react to certain doom a certain way. It’s a bad habit and…and…maybe there’s a way to manually retract the mechanism.

SHEPPARD: Yeah. Maybe there is.

*McKay pulls down a console and starts looking. Teyla gets up and puts a jacket behind Sheppard’s head.*

TEYLA: Here. *Sheppard winces* You seem stronger.

SHEPPARD: No, it’s just the pain’s not so bad now.

FORD: That’s good.

SHEPPARD: No, it isn’t. I can’t feel my legs. My hands and arms are numb. *McKay looks up in shock* I can barely move them, and it’s creeping up. Lookit, Lieutenant…what I’m trying to say is that if you don’t get this damn thing off me, I have even less time than you do.

SCENE: Jumper 2, Weir walks up to Dr. Zelenka.

ZELENKA: *speaking in Czech*

WEIR: Dr. Zelenka

ZELENKA: Apologies for not attending your briefing Dr Weir there was no time…

WEIR: I don't want to slow you down but I need to know what you're working on so I can communicate it to the team on Jumper one.

ZELENKA: We are attempting to retract the um…the er… the gt…the drive pod back into the fuselage from inside the rear compartment.

WEIR: Anything yet?

ZELENKA: Well there is much redundancy in ancient technology, making it dangerous for them to experiment with it in this way.

WEIR: So they might accidentally open the rear hatch or shut life support off entirely.

ZELENKA: Yes, yes, yes, yes…which is why we are attempting to isolate the correct control pathway.

WEIR: Understood…What could I do to help?

ZELENKA: Stop talking please *Dr. smiles at Weir, then continues working on panel, Weir leaves, Dr. begins speaking Czech again*

SCENE: Jumper one

SHEPPARD: Lt., get your knife out and cut this damn thing off. It can't hurt as much as it did last time.

TEYLA: The last time we almost lost you…

SHEPPARD: Well, you're going to lose me anyway.

FORD: Sir we tried to get it off you when we were on the planet… we tried everything.


SCENE: Planet

*Sheppard is on the ground bug with the bug attached, Ford sitting next to him with a pistol in his hand, aiming at the bug*

FORD: Ready sir…here we go…*hesitates*

*FORD shoots the bug Sheppard screams out in pain.*


SCENE: Jumper one

FORD: Everything we did just seemed to hurt you more…the thing just heals itself.

TEYLA: It feeds on your strength…like a wraith.

SHEPPARD: You had to say that.

TEYLA: My father often told stories of creatures such as this…I always thought he was just trying to keep the children from straying far from our camp.

SHEPPARD: Great…He tell you how to kill it?

*Teyla shakes her head no.*

FORD: I don't know sir…I'm not sure we can.

SHEPPARD: Well I could use a second opinion. Get Beckett on the radio.

*McKay looks up from his panel and then goes back to work.*

SCENE: Control room and Jumper One.

CONTROL GUY: *Into mic* Affirmative. *Beckett walks by and technician calls to him* Over here sir. This mic is open.

BECKETT: *Into mic* This is Dr Beckett…how's our patient?

FORD: This is Ford. Major Sheppard is conscious but the creature is still latched on to him.

SHEPPARD: How do you feel about house calls, Doc?

BECKETT: *through speaker* Would if I could major Sheppard but you'll have to settle for long distance…I'm told you have something of a cling-on *closes his eyes when he realizes what he just said*

SHEPPARD: That's funny *little chuckle*…it's like the ugliest damn tick you've ever seen.

BECKETT: *Grins* How did it attach itself?

SHEPPARD: Well…we were on our way back to the jumper


SCENE: Planet

SHEPPARD: …with the wraith shooting at us…

SHEPPARD: *Grabs Teylas arm pulling her. Stops and turns back, sets up cover on a fallen tree* Go tell Markham to get ready for take off. I'll cover you.

MCKAY: What about you?

SHEPPARD: I'll be there in a minute! Go! *three of them run off, Sheppard waits for the wraith to appear*

*He sees three coming at his position and begins firing. He hits one and runs off into forest, hiding behind tree and firing at the other two wraith as they run after him.

FORD: *On radio* Major we're cut off from the jumper.

SHEPPARD: Negative. They're should be one at your three o'clock I drew the other two this way.

FORD: *on radio* They're all around us where'd they come from?

SHEPPARD: Lt. you know how they can make you see things that aren't there, the path in front of you is clear Now Move!

*Sheppard gets up from the tree, wraith still firing. He’s moving backwards while firing in the direction of the wraith. We see a large cobweb with the creature in the middle. Sheppard backs right into it.*


SCENE: Control room and Jumper one

BECKETT: Can you describe it to me?

FORD: Yes sir. It's about two feet in length, including the tail. That's right down under his armpit. It's got two sharp, spiny things in his neck near the Major's carotid artery.

BECKETT: I'll need more than that, son.

FORD: It's forelegs, I guess you’d call them that, they're wrapped around the Major's throat. I can't see any eyes. It's got a real hard shell, but there's a soft leechy part underneath.

BECKETT: Major, what are your physical symptoms?

SHEPPARD: Well, first it felt like a knife in the eye, since then I've lost all the feelings in my extremities. I can't move.

BECKETT: So it incapacitates first with pain, then paralysis. *sighs*

SHEPPARD: I need to be able to move around to help McKay with the mechanical problem. Markham and Stackhouse are dead if I don’t.

BECKETT: What have you tried?

FORD: I tried to cut it off. I tried to burn it off. I even tried to shoot it off…9mm, point blank. Not much worse I can do without killing the Major along with it.

TEYLA: I believe the creature is related in some way to the wraith.

MCKAY: *looking up* Really?

BECKETT: How so?

TEYLA: It healed itself after each attempt to remove it by sapping life from Major Sheppard, just as a wraith would.

*Beckett sighs and looks frustrated*

MCKAY: I suppose the wraith had to evolve from something. It’s probably some sort of prehistoric cousin.

FORD: Listen, Doc. The Major’s getting worse. We’ve got to do something right now.

BECKETT: You said the creature had an underside of exposed soft tissue, like a leech?

FORD: Yeah, I tried to cut into it, but the thing practically strangled him to death.
BECKETT: Son, you don’t cut leeches off. You pour salt on them. *sighs*

SCENE: Scientists think tank.

SIMPSON: If you activate the field, they’ll die.

KAVANAGH: Hey, we can always open it again and if they fix the problem…

SIMPSON: But they may not have time.

KAVANAGH: If they don’t, we could destroy this facility!

SIMPSON: Well, I don’t….

WEIR: *Interrupting* You’re supposed to be working on solutions.

*Kavanagh looks annoyed, Simpson looks down*

KAVANAGH: We think the jumper must be damaged for this to have happened in the first place. Ancient systems are too advanced for this to have been pilot error.


KAVANAGH: So depending on the extent of the damage, we can’t rule out a catastrophic power feedback in the drive manifold.

WEIR: Without the technobabble, please.

SIMPSON: Dr. Kavanagh was pointing out that there is a very slim chance that with the cockpit controls interrupted and the pod damaged, the main drive could overload.

KAVANAGH: She means to say explode. Especially if McKay starts nosing around inside the control conduits to retract the drive pod manually. And he will. I know I would.

WEIR: And Zelenka is working on simulations. I just came from there.

KAVANAGH: If there is a catastrophic overload, the full force of the explosion will break up the jumper, follow the burning fragments through the Stargate like a bomb.

*Weir nods her understanding*

WEIR: *looks at Simpson* You think the risk of this happening is minimal?

SIMPSON: In my opinion? Yes. *stands up straight and glares at Kavanagh.*

*Weir looks at the other scientists*

WEIR: You all agree? *they all nod except for Kavanagh.* Then we take the chance.

*Kavanagh stands up, sighs and crosses his arms*

KAVANAGH: I thought it was important to point out the risk.

WEIR: Fine. You did. Now please, worry a little bit more about their lives and less about your own ass.

*Kavanagh looks disgusted at Weir and turns his head*

WEIR: 23 minutes. *She walks out*

SCENE: Halling and his people walk up the steps in the gateroom towards Dr. Weir.

HALLING: Dr. Weir?

WEIR: I’m sorry, I don’t have time right now.

HALLING: Neither do those people who are trapped aboard the ship of the ancestors.

WEIR: News travels fast.

HALLING: I was speaking with one of your expedition members when she was called in to help.

WEIR: Well, then you are aware that we are very short on time.

HALLING: I am…still. This is important.

WEIR: Okay.

HALLING: You do not know this, but among our people there is a ritual prayer that is said when one knows death is upon them.

WEIR: We don’t know that it is.

HALLING: I am told it is all but inevitable.

WEIR: By whom?

HALLING: That is not important. What is important is that Teyla be allowed to prepare for death. Knowing the time and place of one’s end is a very rare thing among our people. It is a simple rite that would not take more than a few moments.

WEIR: Halling. We need to concentrate all of our efforts on saving them.

HALLING: At the risk of forsaking Teyla’s own beliefs?

WEIR: It is important that we use what little time we have to try everything…

HALLING: *Interrupting* I would ask you not to tell me what is important and what is not in this case.

WEIR: I’m sorry, I can’t have this conversation right now.

HALLING: Why not?

WEIR: Because we are wasting time.

HALLING: This is time that Teyla could use to prepare.

WEIR: All Right. You perceive death a certain way. I accept that. In fact, I respect that. But we do not prepare for death, we do everything we can to stave it off. That is who we are.

HALLING: I am not asking you to suspend your efforts.

WEIR: No, you want me to tell everyone on that ship that they should expect to die? I will not send them that message and if you feel that that violates Teyla’s personal rights, I apologize, I truly do. But there’s nothing I can do about that right now. I have to go.

*Weir walks away. Halling turns and looks confused and sad.*

SCENE: Puddle jumper
BECKETT: All right, I’ve got everything in the jumper manifest already laid out here. What’s your personal inventory?

FORD: Okay, from the vests, we’ve got a swiss army knife, some chocolate, some water, matches, emergency kit. We have alcohol, iodine, painkillers…

TEYLA: *points to a machine* What is this?

FORD: Teyla found a portable defibrillator in the ship stores.

BECKETT: I thought of that. Major Sheppard would receive the same electric shock, it would likely kill him.

FORD: Right.

BECKETT: Try everything one item at a time.

*FORD rummages in the pack in front of him.*

SCENE: Atlantis.

*Weir is walking through the control room. Kavanagh is trying to catch up to her*


WEIR: Kavanagh. I hope you’ve got something to tell me. *She turns*

KAVANAGH: Yes I do. What the hell was that?

WEIR: *looks shocked* Excuse me?

KAVANAGH: I happily left the SGC because I had had it up to here with the military running things, and you just busted me like a private.

WEIR: Don’t be so dramatic. Besides, the Air Force doesn’t even have privates. *She begins to turn and walk away*

KAVANAGH: Neither do I. You just cut them off. *Weir turns back to him* Right in front of my research team.

WEIR: That’s what this is about? You’re embarrassed?

KAVANAGH: Well, humiliated would be a little more accurate.

*They are raising their voices and other people are starting to stare at them*

WEIR: I haven’t worked up to humiliation yet.

KAVANAGH: I just assumed that with a civilian in charge of the expedition, there would be a little bit more…

WEIR: *cutting him off* A civilian is in charge. And we are cut off from Earth, which makes Atlantis almost like a colony, doesn’t it?

KAVANAGH: I suppose.

WEIR: Well, I’m Governor of that colony.

KAVANAGH: You know, that’s all very well and good…

WEIR: Do you have a problem with that?

KAVANAGH: *sighs and looks down* You’re missing my point.

WEIR: No, you’re missing mine. If you waste one more minute which could be used to help the people trapped on that ship because of your ego…I promise you, I will dial the coordinates of a very lonely planet where you can be as self-important as you want to be.

KAVANAGH: *smiles uncertainly and huffs*

WEIR: You think I’m kidding?

KAVANAGH: You wouldn’t do that.

WEIR: Kavanagh, get back in there!

KAVANAGH: *smiles and nods arrogantly* We’ll talk about this later.

WEIR: Never again! Go! *Kavanagh doesn’t move* Go!

*Kavanagh turns and walks away. Weir looks really pissed.*
SCENE: Puddle jumper 2 and Dr. Zelenka is still working on the control conduit.

ZELENKA: Ow. *licks finger after shock, starts clicking away again, his pad starts beeping and he starts speaking excitedly in Czech, gets down from the conduit and grabs a radio.* Dr. Zelenka to control room. I think I have something.

SCENE: Control room. Grodin and Weir run to computer.

GRODIN: We’re receiving.

WEIR: Jumper one, this is Weir. Dr. Zelenka’s come up with something.

SCENE: Jumper one.

MCKAY: Zelenka. Why can I never remember that name?

GRODIN: He’s positively identified the control systems on the port side of the jumper that retract the drive pods. I’m relaying the schematics to your datapad.

MCKAY: Thank you, now we’re getting somewhere.

FORD: What?

MCKAY: Zelenka’s identified the control pathways to the engine pod, which means that’s increasing my chances of fixing this from one in a million to one in a thousand, but, uh…it’s something. Elizabeth?

WEIR: Yes?

MCKAY: I’ll only have seven to nine seconds to warn you if I accidentally trigger a catastrophic overload, so if I tell you to raise the shields…don’t hesitate.

WEIR: We’re aware of the risk, Rodney. Do your best.

*McKay starts working on the control conduit. Ford and Teyla go back to working on Major Sheppard*

FORD: We’re starting with iodine.

*FORD unscrews the cap of the iodine and uses the dropper to put some on the creature. It makes a small noise, but nothing happens.*

FORD: Scratch iodine.

BECKETT: What else have you got there?

MCKAY: Yes, what have you got there, any food?

FORD: You’re kidding.

MCKAY: I have less than 20 minutes to save our lives, and I am teetering on the brink of a hypoglycemic reaction, so…

*FORD looks in the bag and tosses something to McKay*

MCKAY: Thank you.

*He opens the chocolate bar and goes back to work. Teyla watches him curiously and goes back to helping Sheppard*

TEYLA: Here. *She hands something to Ford.*

FORD: We’re going to try alcohol now.

BECKETT: Place a few drops on the soft tissue to see how it reacts.

SHEPPARD: Save some for me.

FORD Wrong type of alcohol, sir.

SHEPPARD: What’s the good of that?

*The creature barely reacts*

FORD Not much, sir. *to Beckett* No reaction to alcohol.

BECKETT: Right. What next?

TEYLA: Did the Doctor not say to pour salt on the creature?

MCKAY: *mouth full of chocolate* I think that was a metaphor. *Teyla looks at him* But it doesn’t matter, just try everything. *Teyla looks back to the Major*
*Ford pours salt on the tissue. No reaction from the creature. Beckett and Weir look increasingly concerned.*

FORD: Water, give me water.

*Teyla hands him a flask. Ford pours some on the creature. It begins to bloat and tighten around Sheppard’s neck. He’s in obvious pain.*

FORD: Sir! Sir, are you all right? Sir? Major?

*Sheppard begins to scream, Beckett, the Scientists in the control room and Weir can all hear him screaming through the radio*

FORD: Sir, are you all right? Sir? Major? Major? What’s happening?

*Sheppard is reacting to the pain and throws Ford away from him. Ford hits the side of the jumper and things begin to move. *

WEIR: What’s happening?

*McKay is looking at the control conduit; Ford gets up from the floor. Sheppard is in serious pain. *

FORD: It reacted to either the salt or the water.

BECKETT: Or the combination of both. Did it loosen its hold on Major Sheppard?

FORD: Negative.

TEYLA: If anything, it dug in more.

SHEPPARD: Please don’t do that again.

FORD: I won’t sir, I’m sorry.

BECKETT: Most likely a primitive defensive reflex to salt water.

MCKAY: We moved, when you fell, I must’ve crossed one of the circuits. I think the engine fired for a microsecond, but it stopped.

*McKay looks up and sees the event horizon peeking out beneath the bulkhead doors.*

MCKAY: Oh, no.

FORD: What? *He gets up and walks over to McKay* What?

MCKAY: So much for plan “a”.

FORD: What?

MCKAY: When the Stargate closes now, every molecule of air in this compartment is going to rush out through there. *He points at the event horizon.*

TEYLA: We’ve slid in further.

MCKAY: 15 minutes.

WEIR: Ford, what can you tell me?

FORD: The puddle jumper has shifted slightly. The rear compartment has now breached the event horizon. Dr. McKay…Dr. McKay…*looking hopefully at McKay*…is still hopeful he can retract the drive pod in time. *He nods at McKay in support*

*McKay gets up and goes back to work.*

WEIR: Understood. We haven’t come up with anything yet, but there’s still time.

FORD: Yes, Ma’am.

WEIR: How is Major Sheppard?

SHEPPARD: *in pain* I’m still here.

WEIR: Hang in there, Major. We’re working on the problem.

SHEPPARD: I know you are. Listen, uh, I’d like to say something while I still can.

WEIR: Don’t! You’re going to get through this.

SHEPPARD: *laughs slightly* If I was…He wouldn’t have let me go.

WEIR: Who wouldn’t have let you go?

SHEPPARD: The wraith.


SCENE: On the planet. A wraith approaches Major Sheppard, who is on his knees with the creature attached. The wraith looks at him for a moment, realizes what is on him and turns away.


SHEPPARD: I guess he saw me as good as dead, cause he just walked away, so…*clears throat*…what I wanted to say was…

WEIR: Save your strength, John, and tell me in person.

SHEPPARD: This is important.

WEIR: *sighs and closes her eyes* I’m listening.

FORD: We should send him through the event horizon. If Dr. McKay figures it out in time, we can fix the major up on the other side, and if he doesn’t, we’re all dead anyway.

MCKAY: No pressure.

GRODIN: Major Sheppard would effectively be in suspended animation for the entire time.

BECKETT: We can’t risk that.

FORD: Why not?

BECKETT: If the creature reacted that violently to a few drops of water, who knows how it would react to Stargate travel?

WEIR: You’re telling me Major Sheppard can’t come through the gate while that thing is on him?

TEYLA: Then we must do something now.

SHEPPARD: Hit me with the defibrillator.

BECKETT: *sighs and then starts to smile* You may be on to something, Major.

FORD: You said that might kill him.

SHEPPARD: That’s the idea.

TEYLA: I don’t understand.

BECKETT: Teyla, you said this creature is like a wraith.


BECKETT: Then how do you think it would respond if, God forbid, Major Sheppard were to die right now, then?

TEYLA: *starts to understand* It would stop feeding.

BECKETT: Exactly, just as a wraith would.

WEIR: How is that an idea?

BECKETT: We’re suggesting that we fool the creature into thinking its prey is dead by stopping the major’s heart. If I’m right, it should let him go.

FORD: So when the thing lets go, we give him another jolt?

BECKETT: You could give that a try, if it doesn’t work, send him through the event horizon. He’ll keep there as good as a deep freeze.

WEIR: John, are you sure you want to do this?

SHEPPARD: I want this damn thing off me.

BECKETT: *to someone offscreen* Be prepared for a code blue in the jumper bay. Lieutenant Ford, do you know how to do this?

FORD: Yes, Sir. *He gets up and picks up the defibrillator.* Cut his shirt off.

TEYLA: What?

FORD: Cut his shirt off!

*Teyla grabs the scissors from the emergency bag and cuts Sheppard’s shirt*

FORD: Charging to 200. Move his tags.

TEYLA: What?

FORD: Remove his chains to the side.

BECKETT: Place the lubrication right on the paddles.

*Ford squeezes some of the jelly onto the paddles and rubs them together. The machine is beeping*

FORD: Ready to go. Once the bug falls off, I’m going to have to kill it. I’ll wait for it to charge up again and I’ll give him another jolt. McKay, if we can’t restart his heart, I’m going to need that bulkhead door open again.

MCKAY: Done.

*McKay opens bulkhead doors. The blue event horizon is on the other side.*

FORD: One of us is going to have to get him through.

TEYLA: I will.

*Ford starts to apply the paddles, but hesitates, looking at the Major.*


*Ford shocks him, puts the paddles down and feels for a pulse.*

FORD: No pulse.

*Teyla grabs the creature and starts to try and pull it off. It struggles against her*

TEYLA: It won’t come off.

BECKETT: Settle. It may take a moment.

WEIR: *looking really worried* Lieutenant?

*Ford begins rubbing the paddles together again to ready for another shock. Teyla is still pulling at the creature. It finally lets go. Teyla throws it to the side of the jumper on one of the seats. McKay moves to the other side. Ford shoots the bug many times. It’s oozing and appears dead. Ford grabs the paddles and shocks Sheppard, then feels for a pulse again.*

TEYLA: Nothing?

FORD: Nothing. Let’s get him through.

*McKay moves the equipment out of the way while Teyla and Ford lift Sheppard.*

FORD: Got him?


*Teyla drags him backwards through the gate.*

FORD: This is Lieutenant Ford. The creature’s successfully been removed from Major Sheppard, but we were unable to revive him. Both he an Teyla are now on the other side of the event horizon.

WEIR: Thank you, Lieutenant. Rodney, you have seven minutes.

SCENE: Atlantis jumper bay. Four people are dressed in bio-hazard suits and have a gurney waiting for Major Sheppard.

SCENE: Jumper one.

MCKAY: I’m only halfway through all the possible circuit pathways and time’s almost up. We’re never going to make it.

FORD: Just keep at it, there’s still time.

MCKAY: You should consider stepping into the event horizon. I’m serious. I’ll keep trying to the end, but given your choices, that’s a far better way to go.

FORD: And leave you here alone with that thing wrapped up in my jacket?

MCKAY: You did check to make sure it was dead, right?

FORD: It’s dead.

MCKAY: Good, because explosive decompression and death by suffocation with that thing on my face…

FORD: *cutting him off* work!

MCKAY: Sorry.

SCENE: Atlantis. The scientists are still working for a solution.

WEIR: Time?

GRODIN: Two minutes, Twenty seconds.

WEIR: Rodney, we’re down to two minutes.

SCENE: Jumper one.

MCKAY: I know the time. I’ve still got over two dozen circuits I haven’t tried.

WEIR: Don’t be so methodical, just pick one at random!

MCKAY: If I do that, I run the risk of attempting to activate the same circuit twice.

WEIR: Just try!

MCKAY: I’m telling you, there’s no way I can…

*Suddenly there’s a noise outside the jumper and the engine starts to whir.*

MCKAY: wait!

*The drive pods retract and the engine starts*

MCKAY: I think I did it! Elizabeth, I think the engine pod’s retracting.

*Weir sighs in relief and runs to the balcony along with the entire control room. The athosians are waiting on the steps of the gateroom. The drive pods have retracted but the jumper isn’t moving. *

WEIR: Then why haven’t you shown up?

FORD: She’s right. Why aren’t we moving?

MCKAY: It’s inertia. The drive shut down before we went through the Stargate. We’ve shed all our forward momentum.

*Ford runs to the bulkhead doors and tries throwing himself against them to create some forward momentum.*

MCKAY: You’re wasting your time. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

FORD: Then what are we going to do?

*Weir is standing on the balcony waiting for them to come through.*

GRODIN: One minute.

SCENE: The scientists table.

KAVANAGH: Wait, the rear hatch. Blow the rear hatch. It should give you enough thrust to make it through.

MCKAY: That could do it. But the only mechanism to blow the hatch is back here.

*McKay points to a circuit panel at the rear of the jumper. Ford opens the bulkhead doors, then moves to the rear of the jumper. *

FORD: You go through, I’ll do it.

MCKAY: No, no. You’ll get blown out into space.

FORD: No, No, there’s no time to argue, just go!
*Ford starts pushing McKay towards the event horizon.*

MCKAY: Make sure you hold on to something.

FORD: Just go!

GRODIN: Thirty seconds.

*Ford’s jacket starts to move. The creature is alive and trying to get out of the jacket. Ford grabs onto a bar in the jumper and opens the circuit cover to blow the hatch. We can see the creatures legs begin to appear from the bottom of the jacket. Ford pulls the lever and the hatch is blown. Air starts to rush out of the jumper, as does the jacket with the creature. Ford is hanging on for dear life. The jumper moves forward through the gate and arrives at Atlantis in one piece. Everyone starts to clap, except for the Athosians, to whom Weir nods.*

WEIR: I’ll be in the jumper bay.

SCENE: Jumper one in the bay. Beckett is shocking Sheppard.


*Someone is bagging Sheppard. Ford is on a gurney receiving oxygen.*

MCKAY: He’s going to be fine.

*As Weir walks past Ford, she grasps his hand. He’s rolled out of the jumper. We can still hear the flat line of the machine in the background. Beckett leans over with a stethoscope and listens for a heartbeat. They get two small beats and then a flat line again.*

WEIR: Well done, Rodney.

MCKAY: We’ll see.

BECKETT: *as the machine starts beeping* We’ve got a pulse. *they continue bagging Sheppard* Getting stronger! He’s going to be okay.

*McKay and Weir both sigh with relief. Weir sits down. McKay starts to pace.*

SCENE: Atlantis infirmary. Sheppard is flirting with the nurse. Teyla, Ford and Rodney are in the room with Sheppard.

FORD: Well, I for one, am back in fighting form, thanks to the lovely meal.

TEYLA: My people were happy to oblige.

FORD: It tasted like chicken.

*Weir walks up to the end of the bed.*

WEIR: How are you feeling?

SHEPPARD: Starving.

MCKAY: He’s got quite the hickey, but Dr. Beckett says he’ll be fine in a few days.

TEYLA: We should let you rest.

SHEPPARD: No, you should get me food.

WEIR: I think we can arrange that.

FORD: Welcome back, Sir.

SHEPPARD: I have to admit. It is a pleasant surprise.

*Ford, Rodney and Teyla go to leave.*

WEIR: By the way, what were you going to say?


WEIR: Before, when you thought, you know…

SHEPPARD: Oh that…

WEIR: I didn’t want you to say it at the time, but now I’m curious.

SHEPPARD: I was going to say, um, *pauses*, take care of each other.

WEIR: That’s nice.


MCKAY: And, indeed, we did.

SHEPPARD: Yes, you did. Thank you. Again.

MCKAY: You’re welcome.

TEYLA: Good night.

*Rodney, Ford and Teyla leave. Weir goes to leave, but stops and turns back.*

WEIR: You weren’t really going to say that, were you?

SHEPPARD: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

WEIR: I didn’t think so.

*Weir leaves and Sheppard lays back to try and sleep.*

The End